how i find myself lost in thought about you. daily. hourly. by the minute, and some days, with every hope-filled breath i take. the other day i found myself driving…just you and i. as we drove, we prayed. for you to be healthy. for you to love jesus. for you to be born here to fulfill your God-given potential.
and with that, i saw something moving up a head. thought it was trash blowing in the wind. until coming near, when truth revealed it to be a baby bunny. super-tiny and super-fast. darted across traffic in record time, safely arrived at the other side. i threw my right arm in the air: celebrating that bunny’s small—yet mighty—victory. life spared, mama and daddy to be relieved by your safe arrival.
so many times i take life itself for granted. after two miscarriages, i try my hardest to cherish the laughter, embrace the tears, and live free of self-imposed expectations. God’s been awesome, dear child. everywhere we go, newborn babies abound. and tears of gratitude well up in my eyes. we took your daddy out to eat last night for Father’s Day. and not one, but two, small newborn babies we encountered. at hobby lobby earlier in the day, we passed a mama with her baby snuggled in her carrier seat. before i knew it “CONGRATULATIONS!” tumbled out of my mouth. she and i both smiled wide as she gratefully acknowledged her God-given miracle.
our God is an awesome God. your sisters and daddy know and proclaim it. anaya poked my tummy this week and, at eye level, exclaimed “mama, i just love your belly” as she smooshed it in her little hands. “you’ve got the cutest little big belly button!” i didn’t hide my emotion and freely giggled. “well, thank you, Miss Big Sis” was all i could say…
catori is just really super-direct. tells me often. quite often “mama! you gotta big baby in there!” that is so her personality. are you enjoying her “bubba” belly laugh as your darling ears are forming? ever since we heard that “huh! huhuh! huh!” laugh, she’s stolen our hearts. her round cheeks, and big blue eyes to match her big round cheeks just melt us!
when i rock tirzah at night and we say our prayers, before “Amen” and just before we sing “twinkle twinkle” together, we pray for you, precious baby. on nights i’m feeling especially brave, i trace the sign of the cross on her forehead, and tell her “goodnight, big sister, angel-baby!”
well, the house is still. daddy’s mowing and your sisters are fast asleep. guess i had better get going and get some work done. sweet child, keep growing and knowing. our hearts beat for you and our arms long to cradle you!
God bless you…